Hereeeeeeeeeeeees Findley

Here is your introduction to Findley M. another missioner for the Episcopal Church. Findley is living in Liberia for a year. I have never met him, but after reading you will have glimpsed into his character.

My only remaining question is what is a Liberian Handshake?

Curiouser and curiouser!!
Q. Are you writing this update in response to popular demand?
A. Not really. I find that in the over two months here, I’ve just
been neglectful in keeping in touch, and this is the easy way out.

Q. Is it really that hot?
A. Yes, indeed, it is. Afternoons hit 100. But we have wicked
thunder storms in the evening/night now, which helps, and keeps the
dust down a lot, but seems to encourage the larger insects to march
indoors. There is no Enya "Storms in Africa" in the background.

Q. Is there anything you would like to add to your prior mention of
the “itty bitty” bugs?his you will have glimpsed into his character.
A. Yes!! They love to play! Whenever I put my eyeglasses down, they
seem to be very attracted to the lenses! And I always forget, put on
my glasses, and get “bug eyed” as they do a march across my lenses!
It's so cute.

Q. Have you seen any wild animals yet?
A. No, but the roosters really crow !!!

Q. Do you live in a barn?
A. Oddly, my very mother used to ask the same thing many years ago.

Q. Do the roosters awaken you?
A. Nope. Ear plugs. (Combined with old age deafness, and I don't hear a thing)

Q. (Very high frequency question) What do you do?
A. I'm a missionary.

Q. But, what do you actually do.
A. Interesting question! Many people have asked that same question
for many years! My children. Many prior bosses. Thank you for
asking!

Q. Really.
A. Well, I act as a “business/financial advisor” to Cuttington
University, and the Diocese of Liberia, in Monrovia.

Q. Have you been able to avoid the effects of the global crisis with
their portfolios?
A. We’ve lost truly minimal investment funds.

Q. Your good advice?
A. No, there’s no capital to invest. I’m supposed to be raising it.

Q. So, with your linguistic background, what is the official language
in Liberia?
A. English. I'm doing O.K. with it.

Q. Isn't that....unusual?
A. Not at all. I studied Spanish for eight years, worked
internationally for five companies, but never in a Spanish-speaking
country.
Oh.

Q. Any book that you’ve read that has prepared you especially well
for this assignment?
A. Yes. Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, The Places You’ll Go.”

Q. (High frequency question) Do you have, you know, “tummy troubles”?
A. No. But I do wonder why everyone seems to ask that. Even here.

Q. Can you tell us about the secret handshake?
A. No. I took a pledge not to reveal that handshake to anyone other
than a fraternity brother.

Q. I mean the Liberian handshake.
A. That is not a secret! Everyone does it! When I traveled to
Monrovia in the late '70's I did it! But, truth be told, eye-hand
coordination is another casualty of aging. I try! Everyone helps!!

Q. So, the Liberians must appreciate your efforts.
A. For the most part, other than those who’ve had jammed fingers as I
push instead of pull at the end of the “shake”.

Q. Any good Liberian jokes you could pass along?
A. Not really. This is not a funny place. I am, by far, the largest
source of humor, possibly in all of Liberia.

Q. Are you telling jokes, then?
A. No, just stories of past experiences. (And, yes, I’ve heard many
times “You already told us that one”. I may need to seek out a new
audience sooner than I had anticipated.)

Q. Do you travel from the campus to Monrovia then?
A. I do, indeed.

Q. How?
A. Private helicopter. (I'm kidding.) I am driven in the Cuttington
school “bus”

Q. How's the ride?
A. I have no finger nails. Real kidney blaster. Four hours, 120 miles.

Q. Rough roads?
A. The world's longest pot hole. Even the pot holes have pot holes.
There is a really interesting way of avoiding them. Gives new meaning
to “off road” and “all terrain”.

Q. So, did the water purification facility go on line?
A. Yes, and I attended the dedication ceremony with a group of
visiting dignitaries.

Q. That must make a difference.
A. Alas, getting the water from the treatment plant to the buildings
hasn’t worked out yet.

Q. Are you learning anything?
A. Yes!! More than I did as a student. I’ve now walked through the
rice farm four times! (Long story, but my presence is greatly
enhanced as students, faculty, etc. all line up with their cameras as
I leap over the canals, hoping (praying?) to catch a picture of me
falling in. Not yet. I may have to, though, to avoid the constant
invites.)

Q. Do you have a nickname in Liberia?
A. Yes, “whyman”, or from children, “whyman, whyman, whyman!”

Q. ?
A. Took me six weeks to figure it is “White Man”.

Q. Is that somewhat….aggressive?
A. If so, it goes right over my head. Actually, I like it! Everyone
says “hi”, just in a different manner.

Q. This “Q&A” seems to be a bit “rushed”. Any reason?
A. Yes. At this writing, Hobart lacrosse, nearly written out of
Division I at the end of last year, is undefeated, 3 – 0 thus far this
season, and all road games. Big game tomorrow.


And for the obligatory quote: "Make your life a mission - not an
intermission." Arnold Glasgow (I've no idea who he is.)

Finley