Who Knew

It is not often that so quickly do negatives turn into positives. During the months of December and January this became the norm.

Shortly before Thanksgiving, I was involved in a car accident. An accident involving my bright yellow Chevy Aveo, Tweedy Bird. I am fine, the car was totaled. My insurance company decided that the cost to fix the car was more than the car was worth. To make it more insulting, the last payment on the car was made in December. So, I was a proud owner of a car not worthy of being repaired.

As I began to look around for another vehicle, purchased using the insurance check, I realized that a lot of me was linked to that bright yellow Aveo. The thought of purchasing a white, or black, brown, or black car really was making me ill.

The positive? Another chevy Aveo, a year younger with 30,000 less miles on it. I am now the owner of this car, without a sun roof, but with cruise control, something I wished I had on the old Tweedy. So, now I am riding in Tweedy Two.

The downside is that I had to finance this vehicle, even if for only 3 years. Not enough received as cash from the insurance needed to purchase another car. Since moving to the cash basis of living, I had been welcoming the thought of one less debt. Instead, though the debt is less, it is still there.

The positive? Since I had to finance a minimum amount, I was able to use the balance of the insurance check to make needed repairs to my house, pay down other debt and make last minute contributions.

The weather for the last Sunday in Advent was snowy. In fact, by the end of the day, 16 inches had fallen in my part of Delaware. I had traveled out twice the previous day, and felt that coming into church would not be a problem. That said, I did not check the website to learn that services had actually been canceled. Upon arriving, I realized that not many were in the parking lot. In fact, counting the two priests, the acolyte and myself, there were four in church.

The positive? Sitting together directly around the altar. A feeling of how the early Christians must have observed communion. The sermon, interactive, speaking directly to each other. What a gift. The bad weather continued and this gift presented itself again on Christmas morning.

The Disciple Study Group that I am a part of has had a profound affect on my way of thinking. Reviewing the history of the Jews and their relationship with God, has me understanding that God's answers to problems or crisis do not sometimes happen at that moment. I am learning to wait and see.

Hopefully, not the normal waiting period of 40 years.

There is a phrase in the Books of Esther and Jonah, "Who Knows?"

"Who Knows" when your answer will come.

Am I willing to accept that no answer is an answer?

Am I willing to accept the possibility that the answer is not something I have thought of?

Am I willing to accept that God could take away something that means so much to me only to replace it with something better?

Are we willing to accept the pain of heartache and loss and live into the hope of something new?

Who knows?