Not so Odd

Isaac Watts had it right when he wrote those penetratingly honest words sung frequently at a church burial service:


Time, like an ever rolling stream, bears all our years away; they fly, forgotten, as a dream dies at the opening day.


The past several days there have been several people, known personally by me, or not, who have passed away. Or there have been anniversaries of the passing of others. We mourn those that have gone. Sometimes the memory of that loss leads to times of overwhelming saddness and despair. Sometimes this despair incapacitates us.

Recently, I finished reading a booked called "Odd Hours" by Dean Koontz.

The character in this series is named Odd Thomas, and he can see the dead. This guy is funny and Mr. Koontz' writing is wonderful. On page 252 the character states:

"Loss is the hardest thing, but it's also the teacher that's the most difficult to ignore."

He continues " Grief can destroy you or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you are alone. Or you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it.

But when it's over and you are alone, you begin to see it wasn't just a movie and dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill.

It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it.

The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss.

And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life."