(Blessed Be) The Ties That Bind

This past weekend, a truly inspirational woman set foot back in Delaware and joined Delaware Episcopalians at St. Anne's Episcopal School in Middletown, Delaware.  We were coming together to discuss her wonderful book The Ties That Bind: A Memoir of Race, Memory, and Redemption.   However, most of our discussion centered on...

Transformation!

The author's name is Dr. Bertice Berry, originally from Wilmington, DE, and here is a sample of some of the comments that I wrote down.

• When you walk in purpose, you collide with destiny.
• Gratitude is the parent of all virtues.
• Measure our success/progress not by where we are not, but where we have come from.
• Border questions important to know: Who are you, where are you from, where are you going, and what will you be doing when you get there?

Dr. Berry's book is recommended reading for Episcopalians in the Diocese of Delaware.  It first came to my attention at the 2010 Parish Life Day.  The Rev. Rod Welles had several copies of the book at a booth he was manning and after reading the jacket cover, I was hooked.

First of all this book was going to provide me a glimpse into the world of the African-American growing up in Wilmington, DE both before and after desegregation.  Wilmington is a very small city where it seems everyone knows everyone else and coming from another state it takes a while just to crack the surface of joint knowledge and experiences. 

Second, there are friends of mine and their relatives that are mentioned in the book.

Third, being part of a racially diverse congregation, I hoped that this book might help me understand a part of history that unless I had walked with slavery, I could not understand.

The title of Saturday's session was "Journey to transformation:  The way out is back through."

Part of the morning involved exposure to the following thoughts, and I promise that I probably did not write fast enough to get everything that is important.

Stage One:  Me - Life begins with the Me stage, at birth until around 2.  The stage when it really is all about me, what I want, what I need.

Stage Two:  You - Self/you becomes socialized and lasts till the teenage years.

Stage Three:  Us - Teenage years where the individual becomes lost in the "us."

Stage Four:  I am/We are - also known as Ubuntu, the theme of the last General Convention of the Episcopal Church in Anaheim.  According to Wikipedia, Ubuntu is an ethic or humanist philosophy focusing on people's allegiances and relations with each other. The word has its origin in the Bantu languages of southern Africa and is seen as a classical African concept. 

Note the emphasis on "people's allegiances and relations with each other."

This is the Stage that I am on.  However, there is a fifth and final stage.

Stage Five:  All - This is the stage that the saints operate in and that we should strive to be more "All" in our thinking.  It is said that "All" thinking affects seven, yep count em, seven future generations.

So, when you decide to switch to a refillable water bottle, the ripple effect is GREAT.

Now back to the title.

In 1772, Pastor John Fawcett was called to a large church in London leaving behind his congregation at Wainsgate.  As the present congregation gathered to say good bye, with tears in their eyes, they begged him to stay.  And, stay he did. 

However, from this experience came  the following words:

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love.
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

Before our Father’s throne
We pour our ardent prayers.
Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one
Our comforts and our cares.

We share each other’s woes,
Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
The sympathizing tear.

When we asunder part,
It gives us inward pain;
But we shall still be joined in heart
And hope to meet again.