Voids

VOID

A word that means Empty or Vacant.

Something that once occupied space no longer does.

A Vacuum

The earth does not like empty places. Water or air rushes in to fill up empty places.

People build houses on empty lots. The homeless move into vacant buildings.

A relationship ends, look for one to replace it. The feeling of emptiness should not last too long.

This past week, I have witnessed the passing of two individuals, strangers.

The first was a Muslim woman who lived across the soccer field from me.

One morning, I came into the front courtyard and off to the left were two three-sided tents filled with chairs.

Of course, I knocked on the neighbor’s door to ask who was having a party.

This was not a party, but two prayer tents, used to pay respect to the person that passed and to their family.

One for men, one for women. The prayer tents remain for up to three days.

In Sudan regardless of your religion, all bodies are removed from the house immediately and buried. There is no cremation. The heat does not allow for traditions found in the US.

Cars, trucks, taxies, rickshaws came and went at all hours.

Then, just as quickly as the tents appeared, they were gone.

Tito‘s great-aunt passed away last week as well. In her sleep during the night.

In this case, the prayer service was Episcopal and presided over by the Bishop of Khartoum. The service was held on the third day after her passing.

I had wanted to attend, but Tito is my driver and obviously was previously engaged.
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I have been wondering how each family deals with the fact that their world now contains a void

What or who will rush in to fill the space?

What if we do not want the space filled? Can we somehow keep it empty?

What if we had never imagined that there might be a void? An empty space? A world without him ……. or her?

What if we knew the void was coming? How do you prepare?

I have made the acquaintance of a teacher here in Sudan, who is heading home to see to her mother, who is in her 90’s.

I remarked that I wanted to stick around that long as well, given that my mother had died at 65.
She, on the other hand, wanted to go at 65. She knew a better life was waiting for her after death, so why wait?

I have to admit, that took me back a little.

Why wait?

Kathryn, my sister and brother and their families, my friends, possible weddings and
grandchildren and great nieces or nephews.

Travel, reading, writing, gardening, chocolate.

The Rev. Jim Lewis once told me that the sign of a person who thought they would live forever, is the reader who keeps picking up new books to read, never quite finishing the last one, knowing they would have the time to come back and do so.

As I looked at his den, I realized that it looked like mine.

Of course, I think gardeners are the same. Always planning for new gardens each spring, in the
middle of winter.

Or a traveler, that plans for the next big cruise or trip, a year out.

Why wait?

Why not?